Anyway, today was a good day nothing much to report other than my trip to What-A-Burger. Now I know what you're thinking (if someone is actually reading this), but I didn't buy not one thing for myself. YAY!!!! Such a big accomplishment. I was given money to get myself and two other people meals. I stuck to my guns though and just munched on my red pear.
Now, I will say that though I'm proud of myself for that little show of will power I was also very, and I mean VERY tempted. I knew I had an improper relationship with food but I never thought it was that bad. I mean I've always known this relationship with food has been a very mental thing but, I also never really sat back and thought about it. So I have decided to take back control of our relationship. I even wrote it a little letter. It goes a little something like this:
Dear Food,
I'm sorry, yet not sorry to say you and I...we're through. I'm tired of being a slave to your every beck and call, and I'm tired of the baggage you saddle me with. I've loved you for so long, you've been my only comforter.
I know we've been through much from Daddy issues, to Boys, to Religion, to Death, but you know what I've noticed? You've got a hold on me so strong, you keep me in the loop. When I'm sad I eat. I grow in size then I get sad. Then...I eat. I have to let go, for my life's sake. I have to step up and take control because if I let you continue dragging me down this hole I won't make it.
So I'm taking back control I'm stopping this song and dance that you've been leading. I make the choices. Darling food, we're through.
Love,
Rochelle
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