My Mind

I. Can't. Do. It.

Those four words circle my mind a lot and are usually successful in poisoning any idea or motivation that hits me.

I. Can't. Do. It.

I hear it all the time, those words wrap around and choke me until I surrender. Those four little words over power me often. They have managed to kill any desire inside me. It gets so bad that I try to stomp out any good thought before it can be taken away from me by those four little words.

Those words are ever present in my mind every time I try. Each time I push away that extra helping, each time I give in to that piece of cake. Lately it's been winning and I'm trying to fight it, but I just end up coping with self doubt the only way I know how. Eat.

What is different however is even though I screw up with this eating and intense lack of exercise. I try again. That's something that is completely out of the norm and I'm proud of myself for it. However, I'm not getting anywhere. One step forward, twenty steps back. Discouraging thoughts always seem to plague my mind and...

Those four little words are whispering in the back of my mind even now I as write this. Who will win today I wonder? Hopefully I Can.